I've started to free myself of prejudice and of bariers, to let myself dream on as my true self and not as a syllicone mold, made out of social statistics, preconcieved ideas and mischief. I've realised that I am a strong person, I have a strong will and strong ideas and opinions, but that does not rob me of my sensibility and my tenderness, it does not make me imune to the desire to love and be loved back. I have come to see how my spirit rides alone in a world where everyone travels in packs, gathered together on terms of music taste, clothing taste and so on and so forth. I carry my own cross, interesecting paths with so many others, but so far, I haven't settled. Which makes it hard; it makes my life hard. I am a social butterfly, but at the same time, I'm a loner, a nomad. I pass through people's lives and then I leave. My memory in their hearts might remain for a while, but then it goes away : I'll always be that smiley girl that probably made them laugh for a while, then decided to carry on, to her next stop, to the next stranger that will tell her she's cute, or funny, or nice. And it will never stop. I'm always going to be a part of their past, as they will always be a part of my present.
But my destiny's path is tiring and it has grown to be over-exhausting. I have started to feel my chest crumble under the pressure and weight of loneliness.
Maybe I have great expectations of life, but my soul's only desire is not to find someone next to whom to settle and stay calm, but someone to run wild by my side, make some unforgetable memories with and help me keep weight off my shoulders.
A goodbye note
Acum 4 ani